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I wish I was Jack Barakat's burrito.

 

saverockandroll:

ma’m you cant get married to an album… oh wait… is that folie a deux?? by all means go ahead i wish you two the best you are a lucky woman

bl00d-sugar:

I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES IM LEGITIMATELy DYING OF LAUGHTER RN

gothlolita:

reason s to date me

  • i have at least ten money saved up in the  bank, can buy chicken nugget
  • i am very popular in nintendogs
  • i have a dog and its okay if you ignore me just to play wit h the dog because i will probably do that too
  • macaroni and cheese
  •      i 

the-lonely-scottish-guy:

squidnship:

the-lonely-scottish-guy:

if everybody got a free miniature animal at birth that protected you, like a tiny elephant or dragon, the world would be a better place.

There’d be dragons everywhere. Dragons have to eat. We’d all be dead.

we’d arrange sacrifices of humans

starting with you

curryz:

if you’re gonna complain about immigrants, stop eating curry, don’t get a Chinese every Friday, go and burn the Persian carpet lying on your feet, don’t drink fucking Ceylon tea THEN start complaining