Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

bossbitching:

ronaldkn0x:

johnnypsychopath:

thatfunnyblog:

when will it end

he is neither of those

so i thought this was fake but then i googled it and

somebody stop him

"i was born black"

bossbitching:

ronaldkn0x:

johnnypsychopath:

thatfunnyblog:

when will it end

he is neither of those

so i thought this was fake but then i googled it and

somebody stop him

"i was born black"

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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monetizeyourcat:

what is nasa trying to hide

monetizeyourcat:

what is nasa trying to hide

offfffffffffthesouthernisles:

Guardian of the Galaxy spoilers 

offfffffffffthesouthernisles:

Guardian of the Galaxy spoilers 

n-f-7:

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.THATS THE SPIRIT.THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

I want somebody to read this as accurately as possible to how it’s written

n-f-7:

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.

THATS THE SPIRIT.

THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

I want somebody to read this as accurately as possible to how it’s written

  • parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
  • clock: 11:01
  • me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now
  • svveden:

    svveden:

    what do you call a sphere full of idiots

    earth

    mi-shellvp:

estasfuera:

“A little bit of Monica in my life,A little bit of Erica by my side,A little bit of Rita is all I need,A little bit of Tina is what I see,A little bit of Sandra in the sun,A little bit of Mary all night long,A little bit of Jessica, here I am…”

If you don’t know this reference, you’re definitely too young for me. 

    mi-shellvp:

    estasfuera:

    “A little bit of Monica in my life,
    A little bit of Erica by my side,
    A little bit of Rita is all I need,
    A little bit of Tina is what I see,
    A little bit of Sandra in the sun,
    A little bit of Mary all night long,
    A little bit of Jessica, here I am…”

    If you don’t know this reference, you’re definitely too young for me. 

    221books:

    cornflakepizza:

    winchesterbr0s:

    hesmybrother-hesadopted:

    beesmygod:

    “chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

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    it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

    This makes me really chuffed.

    This post is quite egregious

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    Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.

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    alfredont:

THIS IS THE WHOLE PLOT TO MEAN GIRLS AND I DIDNT G ET IT UNTIL NOW. THANK YOU RACHAEL

    alfredont:

    THIS IS THE WHOLE PLOT TO MEAN GIRLS AND I DIDNT G ET IT UNTIL NOW. THANK YOU RACHAEL

    worldofthecutestcuties:

I took my cat on his first walk yesterday

    worldofthecutestcuties:

    I took my cat on his first walk yesterday

    fassbhender:

    if you ain’t talking marvel I don’t wanna talk

    xgenepositive:

    nosdrinker:

    no dog should ever be homeless

    no home should ever be dogless

    lmaoalien:

    bootybureau:

    getoffmybloghoe:

    Internet history won’t tell you anything, if parents really want to know what their kids are up to check their most recent emojis

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